Witty Christmas Phrases and Sayings For Adults

Wonders if that is snow outside or if Amy Winehouse just sneezed.. ~Source Internet

I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know. ~Source Internet

Christmas is the only birthday party where everybody gets presents except the guy whose birthday it is. ~Source Internet

I always get my loved ones petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas. It’s such a joy to watch their faces light up! ~Source Internet

The first present I opened this Christmas was a pen knife. I was so excited, I used it to cut open all my other presents. Shame about the puppy. ~Source Internet

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~Source Internet

Only six shopping days ’til Christmas! Or if you’re a bloke – only five and a half days ’til you start your Christmas shopping. ~Source Internet

Where is that fat bastard? ~Source Internet

I got a sweater for Christmas. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner. ~Source Internet

I wanted my step-daughter to play with the rabbit I bought her for Christmas, but her mother said that sex toys were not an appropriate gift for an eight-year-old. ~Source Internet

Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross. ~Source Internet

I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, Not cause I like snow or anything, I’m just a racist. ~Source Internet

Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars. ~Source Internet

We were so poor in our house when I was young, that on Christmas morning, if you didn’t wake up with a hard-on, you had f*ck all to play with! ~Source Internet

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day ~Source Internet

Christmas is the one day when all sexy babes want to be on bed with an old fat dude wearing a red costume. ~Source Internet

Is buying my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “toys not included”. ~Source Internet

Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg this Christmas. It wasn’t her main present, it was just a stocking filler. ~Source Internet

I’ve been bad a few times this year, but it was worth it…you judgmental fat bastard! ~Source Internet

Please remember a doggy is not just for Christmas….It’s a great position all year round! ~Source Internet

My girlfriend told me she was hoping for a white Christmas… So I spunked in her eyes ~Source Internet

Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays. ~Source Internet

Short Christmas Phrases and Sayings

Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving, and of families united.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

If you don’t have Christmas in your heart, you won’t find it under the tree.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money ~ Tewin Sham

You’re on our list for a Christmas wish.

Wishing you and your loved ones peace, health, happiness and prosperity in the coming New Year.

I truly believe that if we keep telling the Christmas story, singing the Christmas songs, and living the Christmas spirit, we can bring joy and happiness and peace to this world.

If ifs, ands and buts were sweets and nuts, we’d all have a wonderful Christmas.

May the closeness of friends and the comfort of home, renew your spirits this Christmas.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” ~ Peg Bracken

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Christmas is sign of stars, angels and love divine come down from heaven, may love of Christmas remain with you. Merry Yuletide.

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.

Peace, good will and happiness for you at Christmas and always.

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

Watch where you step. Watch where you go. You may end up under the mistletoe.

“Christmas is more than just presents, it’s love and harmony.”

Christmas is the keeping place for memories of our innocence.

May peace be your gift for this Christmas and the blessing of the Almighty be with you and the world to help us all make this world a better place. To make it a Christmas day every day of the year. ~Tewin Sham

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

At Christmas, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ makes me cry in exactly the same places every time, even though I know it’s coming.

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.

Peace On Earth and best wishes throughout the New Year.

May you have mirth and merriment this Christmas.

The true joy of Christmas is in the love shared with family and friends.

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.

Merry Christmas May God bless you richly throughout this seasonal time.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

“We need to celebrate this Christmas. Jesus’ birth was – and is – good news of great joy.”

Christmas is Love come down to earth, a gift of infinite worth.

Do you like the awesome collection of the Short Christmas Quotes then feel free to share it with your friends and family.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!

Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want – and their kids pay for it.

At this Christmas Season we remember and honor those who are no longer with us and cherish those who are.

Funny and Cute Christmas Phrases and Sayings

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. ~Agnes M. Pahro

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ~Joan Rivers

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. ~P.J. O’Rourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December. ~Ogden Nash

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. ~P.J. O’Rourke

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. ~Jay Leno

We hear the beating of wings over Bethlehem and a light that is not of the sun or of the stars shines in the midnight sky. Let the beauty of the story take away all narrowness, all thought of formal creeds. Let it be remembered as a story that has happened again and again, to men of many different races, that has been expressed through many religions, that has been called by many different names. Time and space and language lay no limitations upon human brotherhood. ~New York Times, 1937 December25th

Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included. ~Author Unknown

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ~Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

Fail not to call to mind, in the course of the twenty-fifth of this month, that the Divinest Heart that ever walked the earth was born on that day; and then smile and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for mirth is also of Heaven’s making. ~Leigh Hunt

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! ~Author Unknown

For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home. ~W.J. Ronald Tucker

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. ~Andy Rooney

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm

Christmas is a time to open our hearts to God and his gifts. Just like the rest of the year. ~Author Unknown

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself. ~Francis C. Farley

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens

[I]t is the one season of the year when we can lay aside all gnawing worry, indulge in sentiment without censure, assume the carefree faith of childhood, and just plain “have fun.” Whether they call it Yuletide, Noel, Weinachten, or Christmas, people around the earth thirst for its refreshment as the desert traveller for the oasis. ~D.D. Monroe

It is the most human and kindly of seasons, as fully penetrated and irradiated with the feeling of human brotherhood, which is the essential spirit of Christianity, as the month of June with sunshine and the balmy breath of roses. ~George William Curtis

At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~Marjorie Holmes

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~Dennis Miller

I can understand people simply fleeing the mountainous effort Christmas has become… but there are always a few saving graces and finally they make up for all the bother and distress. ~May Sarton

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. ~Katharine Whitehorn

For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind. ~Loring A. Schuler

The Church does not superstitiously observe days, merely as days, but as memorials of important facts. Christmas might be kept as well upon one day of the year as another; but there should be a stated day for commemorating the birth of our Saviour, because there is danger that what may be done on any day, will be neglected. ~Samuel Johnson

Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It’s always the next Christmas. ~Joanne Woodward

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the Yuletide gay. ~Ralph Blane

Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for — I don’t know what exactly, but it’s something that you don’t mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. ~Author Unknown

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance — each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Kin Hubbard

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ~Johnny Carson

Christmas — that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance — a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. ~Augusta E. Rundel

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. ~Robert Kirby

As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is. ~Eric Sevareid

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect! ~Charles N. Barnard

Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year — and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. ~W.J. Cameron

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves. ~Eric Sevareid

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that — as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. ~Charles Dickens

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays — let them overtake me unexpectedly — waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: “Why, this is Christmas Day!” ~David Grayson

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. ~Author Unknown

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~Erma Bombeck, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. ~Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~J.L.W. Brooks

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown

Keep your Christmas-heart open all the year round. ~J.L.W. Brooks

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukka” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukka!” or (to the atheists) “Look out for the wall!” ~Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller

The message of Christmas is that the visible material world is bound to the invisible spiritual world. ~Author Unknown

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone. ~Taylor Caldwell

Very gay they were with snow and sleigh-bells, holly-boughs, and garlands, below, and Christmas sunshine in the winter sky above. All faces shone, all voices had a cheery ring, and everybody stepped briskly on errands of good-will. ~Louisa May Alcott, “Seamstress,” Work: A Story of Experience, 1873

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~G.K. Chesterton

There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~Dick Gregory

Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends. ~Margaret Thatcher

I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to be happy and have pleasure makes many honest hearts grow dark with despair instead of beaming with good will and cheerfulness. ~Julia Peterkin, A Plantation Christmas, 1934

I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year. ~E.M. Forster

When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow, we hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago, and etched on vacant places are half-forgotten faces of friends we used to cherish, and loves we used to know. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given — when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes. ~Joan Winmill Brown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. ~John Andrew Holmes

Christmas is the day that holds all time together. ~Alexander Smith

Mankind is a great, an immense family. This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. ~Pope John XXIII

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Christmas in Bethlehem. The ancient dream: a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the smell of incense, shepherds and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love. ~Lucinda Franks

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That’s why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. ~Neil deGrasse Tyson

Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive. ~Robert Lynd

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~Kin Hubbard

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things — not the great occasions — give off the greatest glow of happiness. ~Bob Hope

It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas when its mighty Founder was a child Himself. ~Charles Dickens

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!… Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!” ~Dr.Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. ~Calvin Coolidge, 1927

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. ~Dave Barry

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning

If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a Merry Christmas? ~Don Meredith

Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com

To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year. ~E.B. White, “The Distant Music of the Hounds,” The Second Tree from the Corner, 1954

The universal joy of Christmas is certainly wonderful. We ring the bells when princes are born, or toll a mournful dirge when great men pass away. Nations have their red-letter days, their carnivals and festivals, but once in the year and only once, the whole world stands still to celebrate the advent of a life. ~Author Unknown

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ~Washington Irving

Inspirational Christmas Phrases and Sayings

“Christmas is more than just presents, it’s love and harmony.”

Christmas is Love come down to earth, a gift of infinite worth.

Watch where you step. Watch where you go. You may end up under the mistletoe.

Do you like the awesome collection of the Short Christmas Quotes then feel free to share it with your friends and family.

Peace On Earth and best wishes throughout the New Year.

May peace be your gift for this Christmas and the blessing of the Almighty be with you and the world to help us all make this world a better place. To make it a Christmas day every day of the year. ~Tewin Sham

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.

Wishing you and your loved ones peace, health, happiness and prosperity in the coming New Year.

Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving, and of families united.

May you have mirth and merriment this Christmas.

Peace, good will and happiness for you at Christmas and always.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

If ifs, ands and buts were sweets and nuts, we’d all have a wonderful Christmas.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

The true joy of Christmas is in the love shared with family and friends.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

Christmas is sign of stars, angels and love divine come down from heaven, may love of Christmas remain with you. Merry Yuletide.

“We need to celebrate this Christmas. Jesus’ birth was – and is – good news of great joy.”

You’re on our list for a Christmas wish.

I truly believe that if we keep telling the Christmas story, singing the Christmas songs, and living the Christmas spirit, we can bring joy and happiness and peace to this world.

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want – and their kids pay for it.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

May the closeness of friends and the comfort of home, renew your spirits this Christmas.

At this Christmas Season we remember and honor those who are no longer with us and cherish those who are.

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” ~ Peg Bracken

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

Merry Christmas May God bless you richly throughout this seasonal time.

Christmas is the keeping place for memories of our innocence.

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!

At Christmas, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ makes me cry in exactly the same places every time, even though I know it’s coming.

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

If you don’t have Christmas in your heart, you won’t find it under the tree.

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money ~ Tewin Sham

Merry Christmas Phrases & Sayings

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Kin Hubbard

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. ~Calvin Coolidge, 1927

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!… Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!” ~Dr.Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~Erma Bombeck, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It’s always the next Christmas. ~Joanne Woodward

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken

Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends. ~Margaret Thatcher

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself. ~Francis C. Farley

I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year. ~E.M. Forster

Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. ~Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby

I can understand people simply fleeing the mountainous effort Christmas has become… but there are always a few saving graces and finally they make up for all the bother and distress. ~May Sarton

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~G.K. Chesterton

Christmas — that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance — a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. ~Augusta E. Rundel

There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind. ~Loring A. Schuler

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. ~Andy Rooney

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. ~Author Unknown

Christmas is a time to open our hearts to God and his gifts. Just like the rest of the year. ~Author Unknown

People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December. ~Ogden Nash

Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~Kin Hubbard

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. ~Jay Leno

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

Keep your Christmas-heart open all the year round. ~J.L.W. Brooks

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. ~P.J. O’Rourke

Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone. ~Taylor Caldwell

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that — as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. ~Charles Dickens

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. ~Dave Barry

The message of Christmas is that the visible material world is bound to the invisible spiritual world. ~Author Unknown

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves. ~Eric Sevareid

The universal joy of Christmas is certainly wonderful. We ring the bells when princes are born, or toll a mournful dirge when great men pass away. Nations have their red-letter days, their carnivals and festivals, but once in the year and only once, the whole world stands still to celebrate the advent of a life. ~Author Unknown

[I]t is the one season of the year when we can lay aside all gnawing worry, indulge in sentiment without censure, assume the carefree faith of childhood, and just plain “have fun.” Whether they call it Yuletide, Noel, Weinachten, or Christmas, people around the earth thirst for its refreshment as the desert traveller for the oasis. ~D.D. Monroe

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. ~John Andrew Holmes

For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home. ~W.J. Ronald Tucker

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That’s why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. ~Neil deGrasse Tyson

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. ~Agnes M. Pahro

Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for — I don’t know what exactly, but it’s something that you don’t mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ~Johnny Carson

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning

We hear the beating of wings over Bethlehem and a light that is not of the sun or of the stars shines in the midnight sky. Let the beauty of the story take away all narrowness, all thought of formal creeds. Let it be remembered as a story that has happened again and again, to men of many different races, that has been expressed through many religions, that has been called by many different names. Time and space and language lay no limitations upon human brotherhood. ~New York Times, 1937 December25th

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. ~Robert Kirby

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given — when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes. ~Joan Winmill Brown

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! ~Author Unknown

Mankind is a great, an immense family. This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. ~Pope John XXIII

I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to be happy and have pleasure makes many honest hearts grow dark with despair instead of beaming with good will and cheerfulness. ~Julia Peterkin, A Plantation Christmas, 1934

Very gay they were with snow and sleigh-bells, holly-boughs, and garlands, below, and Christmas sunshine in the winter sky above. All faces shone, all voices had a cheery ring, and everybody stepped briskly on errands of good-will. ~Louisa May Alcott, “Seamstress,” Work: A Story of Experience, 1873

Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year — and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. ~W.J. Cameron

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year. ~E.B. White, “The Distant Music of the Hounds,” The Second Tree from the Corner, 1954

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. ~Author Unknown

If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a Merry Christmas? ~Don Meredith

It is the most human and kindly of seasons, as fully penetrated and irradiated with the feeling of human brotherhood, which is the essential spirit of Christianity, as the month of June with sunshine and the balmy breath of roses. ~George William Curtis

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays — let them overtake me unexpectedly — waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: “Why, this is Christmas Day!” ~David Grayson

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things — not the great occasions — give off the greatest glow of happiness. ~Bob Hope

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~Dick Gregory

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ~Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”

When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow, we hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago, and etched on vacant places are half-forgotten faces of friends we used to cherish, and loves we used to know. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson

At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~Marjorie Holmes

Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included. ~Author Unknown

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukka” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukka!” or (to the atheists) “Look out for the wall!” ~Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~J.L.W. Brooks

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~Dennis Miller

Christmas in Bethlehem. The ancient dream: a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the smell of incense, shepherds and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love. ~Lucinda Franks

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance — each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. ~Katharine Whitehorn

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ~Joan Rivers

It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas when its mighty Founder was a child Himself. ~Charles Dickens

The Church does not superstitiously observe days, merely as days, but as memorials of important facts. Christmas might be kept as well upon one day of the year as another; but there should be a stated day for commemorating the birth of our Saviour, because there is danger that what may be done on any day, will be neglected. ~Samuel Johnson

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect! ~Charles N. Barnard

Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive. ~Robert Lynd

Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com

Fail not to call to mind, in the course of the twenty-fifth of this month, that the Divinest Heart that ever walked the earth was born on that day; and then smile and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for mirth is also of Heaven’s making. ~Leigh Hunt

Christmas is the day that holds all time together. ~Alexander Smith

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the Yuletide gay. ~Ralph Blane

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ~Washington Irving

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. ~P.J. O’Rourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is. ~Eric Sevareid